We have been in orientation all week, which basically consists of frantic apartment hunting, confusion over residency permits, warnings from the deep-voiced embassy agent with an eye-twitch (“we are on watch for terr-ist actions”), and general feelings of anxiety and inferiority. I’m always hungry, and I’m always tired. There’s been a steady stream of pictures on this blog, first because I have spotty and unreliable wi-fi, and second because my brain is just exhausted. Everything seems hard—navigating Amman, finding a cab at 3 pm, understanding some people’s Arabi Urduni, and keeping my emotions in check. Today, I nearly exploded at the lady behind the counter when I was trying to get my Internet situation figured out. And I’m not usually like that—I’m not a rage-y costumer. Ever. Yet, there I was, in the middle of Cozmo supermarket, shout-talking in a woman’s face because I was not satisfied by my Internet options in Amman. But nonetheless, I have had moments of excitement and genuine happiness within these past few days. I just cannot wait to finally be settled in and have a routine. My to-do list is long and scary, and filled with my doodles that were drawn in lieu of actually accomplishing something. Checked off the list: find an apartment, and buy Nescafe for said apartment. To do: open a bank account, set up Internet somehow, and find a way to exercise. Also, the grocery store just scares me. There, I said it. I don’t know how to buy things like tomatoes, or paprika, or just be an adult in general.
In other news, I finally feel like I have a personality in Arabic. So, baby steps.